after a year or two, my life stories

the last day of Feb

2011-02-28T00:42:00.001-08:00

This whole month is filled with ups and downs..
She has been a girl that i use to emo about..
hmmm although now i dont really feel much about it,
unless i think about it ?

if possible, i will not want to care, if i have a choice.
i guess normal friends will do...
days and days goes by..
i've been distracting myself from thinking about that situation.
During when having tea with you and your best friend,
there are hidden conversations occur,
i'll just dont bother to ask, but to look away
just to comfort myself from knowing things too much.
hurt is just a feeling.
but it affects the person alot, especially me.

college has been a hell to me.
since its 3 subjects this semester...
modeling for maya have been a fucking hellllll of a mess.
autodesk maya always been a bitch to me.
more than 200 buttons to press?
knowing it will branch out for more buttons?
without knowing the functions ?
oh come on!! just kill me ?
datelinesm, phonecalls for warning!
please !!!

my computer been dying on me, i cant do it !!
but i'll hand in ! at the end of the day !
i'll promise !
it might not be a masterpiece ! but i aint want to fail !!
FOCUS SAM !! FOCUS !! LIFE LIFE WILL BE MUCH BETTER AHEAD FOR YOUU !!

Feb 2nd

2011-02-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is around the corner.
as time goes by, i felt Cny is just a time where family gather around,
like thanks giving.

for the past few weeks, i've been going out with her and my bestfriend
for quite sometime. i've been trying to forget and pushing that feeling aside
as i'm talking with her.
pretty hard, but yet i aint want to loose her.
really its painful deep inside, but god knows i hope this feeling just die.
i even lend Rachel to her, my bike, my love.

emo emo emo.
when can i ever stand back up and realize what i've done towards myself.
just in the end of the day, i will just feel that the sam of my past,
acts like an idiot.
i've been sleeping for the past 12 hours.

Although its been a nice sleeping moment,
but i still feel tired deep down inside me.
i dreamt about her, being with another guy,
happily.. holding hands, having lunch and all.
all i have left is... well nothing ?
i cant say i cannot live without her,
but the feeling of this can be really annoying.

i felt less hurt right now, cause she's not around.
the past two to three days before,
i sent her a text, wishing her good luck for her driving test for license.
she was really nervous,
then i was actually filming for my friend's production.
i really wanna text her more,
but i felt that im no one but just a guy to replace her boredom.
sad isn't it ? but owhh well..
i did'nt let that happen,
as usual, im just a mirror to certain people whom i dont think they deserve it.
a great friend told me that she's not worth it,
she wants me to move on.

she claims that i dont deserve to treat her so good.
well she's realistic, so i guess that's a fact.
no one will ever go for a guy like me,
its not that im not trying, its just that situation just did'nt turn out so well.
i dont know how many tears have i shed
been sleeping with a wet pillow.

may 2011 be a good year for me,
i really hope i can do it
for the best of myself

happy cny

trying to look at the positive side

2011-01-20T02:56:00.000-08:00

its been a week already, not talking to you.
when ever im with my bestfriend, he always talks about his sis.
i pretend to listen, pretend to know, pretend to act like nothing.
All this pretending, acting, lying towards myself.
I just realized i cannot go on like this denying about the truth.
Some came to comfort me,
i really do appreciate.

Some told me to forget about her, and look what's more to come.
But one told me to talk/chat to/with her,
''since she's the reason that you emo, she's the person to comfort you''

well i did the first move to start a conversation in skype chat.
all i do was asking how is her tongue piercing.
a very non interested conversation.
and this time,
i went offline without her knowing.
haha
childish, but yeah, that's what you always do to me.
i just did that 1 time out of the 10's

i couldn't chat much with her,
the poison is reacting with poison?
how sour can it be ?
it just tingles just like pouring salt water on your wound.
i told my bestfriend not to mentioned her name infront of me.
cause it hurts, so much.

even that lil bit.

everytime i see her online on my list,
i always over-reacted, that's normally when im alone.
so restless, feeling really tired.
i checked my twitter,
all i see is her tweet but none of others that attract
my attention to click on theirs.

the worst thing is,
everytime i click on her link,
i always see things that made me feel so darn fucking hurtt
like :" ahhhhh !!! fucking hurt arr !!!!!"
at times i just want to sleep away till this problem goes away.
but it seems that i just cant,
somehow it did'nt affect me when im out to college,
not much.
maybe just a lill, but you still see me smiling.

i used my whole day cleaning my beloved bike,
just a matter of trying to think something else than emo-ing about her.
i need a distraction,
i need to work,
i need a life !

one step forward, and you cant turn back

2011-01-19T10:38:00.000-08:00

its been 5 days counting back from the day

the day that i receive so much pain from an indirect rejection from you.
I met up with my best friend,
he told me that he told me about the truth,
basically, she doesn't want me to know about the truth,
i guess maybe she still wants me to treat her as a friend,
wants me to talk to her still,
but now,
i guess the awkward moment really starts to kick in.
depress and disapointed are all im feeling.

As usual, i went cycling today with brian.
made a few jumps, with my bike, which named after her.
that was the moment where i dont really
give a damn about things that happen around me in reality.
Honestly, i was really really hoping that we at least dont feel
uneasy and all, but things had made me feel extra shit up.
i really really want to talk to you.

but the topics that we have are really limited already.
my inner concious tells me not to care or deal with you anymore.
its not really taking my life away, but at the same time its torturing.
i need to make a decision !
i cant say i love her, but i like her.
its a crush, that's all
that's what other people will always say,
stop being a pussy and shit.

well spell h.u.r.t
that's all i am feeling for this week,
please let this feeling go away as i crash or fall.
right now, i really hope i have a really good bike
to head to off road and do all the jumps and tricks.
UMF is all i am thinking right now

Run away as Fast as you can

2011-01-18T08:46:00.000-08:00

one learns to rise
as the other learns to fall and receive one's fault.
what am i trying to imply here.
i guess its called balance of nature.
a wise man told me that
he only believes in only ONE god.
and what comes around goes around.
in other words, its called KARMA.

i do believe that, a person has to repay his debts and sins.
tonight i dont really have much things to say.
But my feelings towards the things that she wanna say to me is...
i aint want to care much about it or to bother.
all i can say is, i've tried not to bring up that awkward scenario,
but aint putting the blame on her,
she tends to do it so...
i cant do anything.
she blocked me from twitter,
that makes me feeling emo for the whole damn day.
and now you unblock me ?
so what does this mean?

i try to see thing positive and all,
things has been getting really tired and heavy for me.
i cant do my modelling assignments due to my technicle problem in the software,
chasing dateline has been my first thing to do,
when i enter college.
i keep tonight's post short,
im heading to bed,
cycling does makes me get her off my mind.
i'll be riding more often with brian chai my riding partner :)

monday blues

2011-01-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Its monday, and its the beginning of the 3rd week of the semester.

Some how its weird that monday class for visual story telling 2,
starts on the 6 evening till late evening 9.
Suffered from a bad sleep, and i woke up
from the wrong side of the bed.
i feel sad but not as sad as yesterday.
in a way im healing, but the whole day i kept quiet.
did'nt really social much.

today's class speaks about light and shadow.
its more to how to cast the light,
which point to which point,
where what sort of light suits the environment.
the whole time i was like sitting down there and doing nothing.
did'nt really pay attention towards the lecture.
well its a combined class with dg 905-1 and dg 905-2.
just when class ended, i cycled back home.
when i reached taman megah area after a major slope after the taman bahagia station,
my current track was playing deadmau5 album.
so i kinda got myself into the mood in cycling and sprinting with it.
i saw some merida fellers just about to leave their workplace.
usually they always sit there and talk about stuffs,
well a boss and worker session.
i recognise Herbert from far.
actually i just want to cycle home since im so near already.
But since im so in the mood in chasing someone with my matts 40d
i decided to chase Herbert from taman bahagia all the way under the bridge of
LDP, which is near the old mobill.
haha i bet he is surprised to see me chasing up to him hahahaa
then we cycled all the way till his house.
He was like, where did you cycled from ??
hahahaa

i told him i cycle to college everyday, which is from megah to pyramid there.
deep down in my heart, i really push the bike to the maximum.
well his bike is a full sus bike,
looks like an old merida,
but it still looks great fucking awesome.
i really hope cycling makes me put her off my mind.
i really miss her really much,
in many ways :)
just this noon, i realized that she unfollowed me in twitter.
sad isn't it ?
she's mean,
well what can i do ?
by right nothing.

a good friend of mine told me that,
if i really like her, no matter when or how,
i will wait for her, even if its the end of the world.

all i wanted was you

2011-01-16T11:41:00.000-08:00

as clearly stated, all i wanted was you

i really miss the vacation that we all had,
the moment of being there with you,
the time where everyone was really happy.

Today, i felt really sad, was really hoping that i can be a little bit
happier than yesterday.
But it seems that im the only person among all of them,
not knowing the truth about her.
Friends around me had been trying to hide the secret about it,
and not letting me to know.
i just realized that i just rammed into a thick hard wall.

Therefore, as an action, always have a reaction.
Today, she went to pierce her tongue with my best friend in KL.
i really hope she does'nt get her tongue done.
honestly i dont find it cute or attractive either.
ITS UGLY ! what the fuck is that in your tongue ?
Throughout her outing, based on my understanding of my bestfriend,
he must have told her that i was being emotionally unstable,
since i cycled around the park like a mad man from 3am till 7am

I always been feeling that cycling is something that i can unleash
my anger and madness, by just making myself feeling tired and worked up.
i was'nt really satisfy about things going on.
i do really hope that guy she like, was actually me..
When i clicked on her twitter,
her recent tweet was '' Damn.. you're maturity level is so low.''
its pretty sensitive that,
that comment really hurts me more than i ever expect.
i did'nt want to ask and did'nt want to know about it either.

as i was waiting for my friends to take me out for dinner.
i went emo again after i read that post.
through out the night outing with my friends,
i was miserable and disapointed about myself that shit happens from her.
i felt sad that, she have to avoid me just to make her feel things are better
as the same way for me.

i really hope and pray that, these are the acts of the cycle called
KARMA
what goes around comes around.
for all the evil deeds i've done,
well i should make myself to pay them back,
as long as i dont fuck it up again.
i'll rather to pay it now,
than paying it back later; to suffer now than suffer later.

hmm look at the bright side.
at least i still have brothers around me that supports me.
but i would like to grow up more,
celebrate the holidays with the one that i love and treasure the most.
someone special.

haihh i should be keeping all these feelings towards her in a bottle and,
just have to accept the fact that
if the person is meant to be with you, then so be it,
like wise, if she's not yours, then she's never gonna be with you
cant force a person to love you,
its never sincere when it comes to force.
all i can do is,
do best in my part,
let fate decide,
just make the right decision.

talks to oneself : " SAM ! DONT EMO ANYMORE ! "

a chance for me to be strong

2011-01-15T11:33:00.001-08:00

firstly, i would like to blog this to express my disapointment against myself.

Well it just happened during a skype call from a best friend of mine.
Saying that his ''sister'' told something about me and her.
I just received a rejection from him...
He mentioned that,

I'm not her type at first,
She's already have someone deep down in her heart,

hmm i guess these two lines actually made me feel
so.....
HURT ARR !!!

but yeah, i always try to look at he brightside.
She says that she likes me being her friend :)
the least i can do,

is

to see her smile and make her feel happy
in the future, i hope that they can be a happy couple,
of course,
when times when she feels down,
i will be the person to be there right by her side,
maybe i can ignore my friend !! arghh pffftt..
i will always be waiting
waiting for you
its because...

i think i've fallen in love with you

unconciously.

I can promise that i wont be shedding a tear,
but my heart still remain a place for you
just to let you know,
i never feel such a warm head, lying on my lap
As the journey never ends,
i will make sure that you'll had the best sleep on my lap ever..

As it hurts so much,
but i wanna do is,
to accept rejection and be a strong person
well as strong as i can ever be.

stay STRONG SAM!!! you can DO IT !!

FINALLY, and these things have been crossing over my mind

2011-01-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

sorry for not blogging for a really.. really long time..

i apologise for not posting anything..
so here it is..

I realize that i hav'nt been talking to her for a really long time.
She began to give me false hopes and made me really think alot,
Its ridiculous for me to wait for a reply...
well all sorts of reply, i texted her she said her phone's dead
i messeged her online and she's always away.
what else can i do to get closer to you ?

Friends around me that has been giving advice about this situation
Actually i aint wanna think of giving up my feelings towards her, but
but things really are not going well at all.
If she does'nt like me, well please tell me... or even
text me as a friend ? i dont really mind
(well that is when i say it, but deep down i really feel HURT)

As time passes by, i went to a road trip with my friends.
It was a couple trip, where as all my friends brought their partner.
I joined because im incharge to take pictures of them.
I'm the loner as usual, that when i always think about myself being that.
That morning, where all of us meet up at the DIM SUM place for breakfast,
My friend brought his ''Sister'' along.
I admit she's pretty and im shy :)
We knew each other but not really close, i thought of you know maybe
by giving myself a chance to know a friend ?
She has big eyes,
really nice pink lips,
brown long hair,
overall proportioned,
love the waist line,
fair skin,
but that's not all, most important ! her beautiful smile :D
My friend actually told me to take care of her, ''she's with you for the day''
hmm i felt that i responsible to really take care of her through out the trip.

Yeah the trip was really fun, well fun for them ofcourse
through out the trip, she and i sat together behind the backseat
where as my best friend sat infront and his future girlfriend
was driving us the whole time.
well, while we're on the road, she's sleeping the whole time,
lying down, where her head is facing towards me.

At first she was sleeping on my friend's back as a pillow,
Then i offer her if she wants to sleep closer to myside,
since i dont really take up much of a space,
then she was like sleeping on my lap already.
The road back home, was really bumpy,
i can feel her warmth on my tigh,
well i never felt this way before,
none of my ex's ever did that to me.
i was really concern and yet afraid, what if she doesn't feel comfortable ?
The pajero ride was really bumpy.
I gently held her head and shoulder so she felt less shakey.
Honestly, im really feeling uneasy at first,
but after a while, i felt really really comfortable too.
i dont know why ?

After that fantastic road trip,
everyone wants it more, its because
its really fun,
no one fuck it up?
its really a mature outing :)
although it may sound like im like a playboy ?
but i think i started to like my friend's ''sister''

as days goes by....
i did started chatting with my friend's ''sister''
i really tried to avoid the moment of awkwardness
we msn-ed we skype we text ~
yesterday !! my friend actually made her skyped with me
yeah~ i'm really happy and all
but i dont know about what she feels about me,
arghh i felt so stupid
she asked me is it true that i wanted to court her?
thanks alot best friend !!
i swear lucky my webcam is spoilt
what if she sees my stupid face?
omg telling her that '' actually i kinda like you !''
i actually hesitated to say it,
i was afraid! i had no balls
but in the end, i just said it !
did'nt know my best friend was just beside her.
and yes the whole webcam thing its like a request from my best friend
for her to call me.

right after that, we went for dinner :)
darn luck thing, i rushed there near her housing area.
so lucky till i booked a table before they arrive.
i was waiting for them at a corner,
till they arrive :)
she sat beside me where as my friend sat at the other side,
starring at me,
like a tease.

pressure is all i feel :(
she commented on the way that i wear
they seem to feel that they under-dressed?
we laugh we talked we ate dinner
honestly i really suck when it comes to paying bills,
all i have is rm80 and my friend does not have enough money.
so i paid for him instead..
shocking shit! im suppose to pay for her!! god dammit !!
the bill came, and i cant even diff and seperate who's gonna pay who's?
Then she told me to hand it right over,
i SUCK SO MUCHHH wtfff
then my friend gave me the STARE again !
so fucking screwed.

i wish i was a lilll smarter !! and wiser
im so fucking stupid wtff man..
it was drizzling out there in the night.
we had like a drink at the nearest mamak store, and then we walk her home.

my friend went ahead, left her and i at the back walking.
i walked side to side along with her.
i felt that she's shy and all,
i dont know what the fuck that im doing,
i use my palms to cover her head, so that she does'nt get wet under the rain.
fucking lame right ?

there she goes, she reached her apartment.
Then both of us took a cab home.
I felt that having dinner with them its really nice,
especially with her :)
i dont really mind if she's eating alot,
but at the same time, eating in a proper way :)
she's cute when she's eating
although she tends to complain that she's fat and alll
but who cares ! i like her, the way she is
i really hope, both of us can work things out
perhaps maybe one day, we can be a really happy couple ?
i really wanna know what she thinks about me ?
this feeling never goes off

doubts about letting it go & future plans

2010-11-20T01:46:00.001-08:00

hmmm its been a week again,
by right i should be happy about this, it because
i should be having the chance to chat with her again :)
supposingly its the week to go out with her on a date

but

its just such a nice timing, where my friend's birthday party
clashes with the day of the date.
well not exactly clash, but im more like
BROKE...
how am i suppose to go out with her in a state of
BROKE ?!!??

i felt its just embarrassing.
i mean how can you go out on a date where you dont have confident in your wallet ?
its suppose to be a guy treat girl thing.
unless she really dont mind.
plus recently, i've been thinking hard towards myself,
am i the right guy for her ?
people always tend to ask for what they should deserve,
but do they really deserve to get what they deserve?
think about it,

i might just be another wacky fellow that always being happy around people,
making lame jokes and being different
attract attention and shits.
but deep down inside me.
i doubt myself am i a weak person who tries to act strong and all ?
trying to proof myself
trying to be somebody
to be that somebody who gains everyone respect??

sighhh as always ...
i always wonder what she thinks,
its not that i want to turn you down for the date.
but yeah i felt something...
i dont really know you like me or not ?
as one of my friend adviced me,
just go and all ''straight to the point, tell her what you think about her''
im reckless yet being afraid,
i guess that's what kept me going missing you, like you, and try to love you and all
most important thing is,

i DO care about youu god dammit!!

so.... thought of a future plans?
im aint a person who plan, but im gonna talk about it.
in the year 2012,
my family and i have to shift,
left to no choice, but to move on
since my aunt and dad dont want to owe anything to each other
seems like my aunt is feeling really stress.
as for my dad,
he is trying to find a way to solve this big problem
that has been being around us for quite sometime.
being the eldest son is not easy.
but well im gonna try it no matter how !!
right now,
i have to set my goals and my determination must be a 200% positive !

a friend of mine told me about trying to be a part time photographer
since i have a 550d
yet for photography,
im still finding my kinda of pictures that i wanna take.
photography opens up a person's mind and eyes towards the world.
but yeah as for my
DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY class,
i feel shit up this morning for not having enough sleep,
2 times i've been absent in total.
plus, im a little bit worry since
like what my other classmates said that
the submission of all the pictures will due to today,
still...
the shitty part is, i hav'nt take any pictures recently. its just so
arghhh... i hate myself!

welll solutionss, i need solutionss
i guess i just have no choice but to do it anyway.
i'll just have to tell the lecturer about how things have been happening around me

happy yet unsure

2010-11-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

After a week or two, i met her again in the online chat.
As usual i made the first move by saying ''hey''.
well for this week, i tried to push everything a little more than before.
i even tried to ask her out for an unofficial date.
''a meal or two'' thats the thing i mentioned.
kinda realized a lill stupid to say that. haha but i dont care.
It seems that she did'nt reject me straight away.
Instead, she asked ''when??''

Lots of stuff came into my mind lately.
Like : '' am i doing the right thing ?'' & '' am i ready for it ?''
i get really confusing at times, dont know what is the right thing to say about
or even what is the right thing to express through speaking.
as some said, communication problem?
I know myself pretty well, as not the kind who talks smart but
more to the kind of person to do it.

At the same time,
im afraid deep within me, and afraid that someone to reach out
and lend a hand to pull me out from this deep hole.
im sinking yet not noticing.
everytime you did'nt give a specific answer, which makes me
think lots of stuff.
many said, just let it be and go with the flow.
Before i go with the flow?
i wanna know where i stand ? deep down in your heart or
even in your life?
By expectation,
your family comes first, therefore career and then your friends :)
i aint sure you want to be in a relationship,
but that does'nt mean i cant wait.
i just need a specific answer so i know who i am to you.
just want to say im not desperate or anything, just
to be sure about things in my life,
and also getting to know you better.

i hope i really can do it.
After two weeks from now, i most probably will be taking you out for a meal or two?
or it may not happen at all ?
if it really happens,
i really wish that everything goes well.
it depends on how we progress weekly.
Been missing you day by day.
wondering how are you doing, i know you're busy
therefore i did'nt want to text you.
But if you need a someone to talk to ?
i wont mind to be the one to do it :)

lastly, i wish you good luck and all the best in your exams

its been a year and a half

2010-11-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

i hav'nt been updating this blog for a while, ever since... hmmm i dont know..
Many things have changed.
Well i dont know if there will be anyone still keep track of my blog and all
but..
That does'nt really matters.
These days, i've been feeling extremely down due to
the stuffs been happening to me.
Firstly .. is ..
i hav'nt been going after a girl that i like for like.. years ??
till that day, when i was waiting for a friend to pick me up.
i was really surprised when i open the door. realizing that
i never thought of seeing her again.
its the same feeling that had towards her back in the days when im in form 1.
Day by day and week by week, we've talk and chat on msn and we texted.
I felt the feeling of talking to her makes my day brighter and brighter,
i never felt this happy before...
so.. i decided to make a move forward a lill just to see if things improve that the way it was..
i wonder its either am i thinking too much or its just the fact
that she just treat me like a normal friend ?
this question haunts me every single night before i close my eyes and get to sleep
i know it sounds like im not understanding and all but yeah
you're having your exams and all, waiting its not a problem to me
some said im loyal some said im stupid,
but hey..
if its worth it, go for it ! tat's what they say..
its painful yet, i dont know? hmm maybe its just falling in love with you
its just a price to pay ?

Recently, i've been trying to change myself so much.
i've set target and goals for my 2 years plan.
i decided to get a better life and earn to get my first car.
Just so you know that i dont like to be too dependant to my family,
therefore i went to look for a part time job.
My friend's uncle happen to open an ice cream shop near the mall.
and my friend is working, having an incredible pay.
i thought of like, if i asked, maybe i'll get the same rate as him.
so, i went through the interview and all
and i did not know the his pay is actually i confidential thing.
some said its not harm to ask, and i dont like to point out names
Then yesterday night, i was being called and i'm ''officially'' employed
just being clear about my pay, i asked
It did'nt turn out to be what i've expected.
The employer tend to conclude my friend tend to tell me about his pay,
where as the actually the its his nephew who told me about it.

It almost started a fight/arguement.
That really hits me in the head, since last year or two,
i was facing the same thing with my best friend back then.
i was being a bitch about money than seeing what's more
valuable than a friendship.
but yeah long story cut short.
i talked to him about it.
and it went cool and all..
i aint wanna lose another friend in my life, its just too pain to handle.

When i got back home, i felt sad yet proud and happy about the things that i've done.
thought about it, maybe i've grown through shits happening around me.
some said experience ?
some said obstacles ?
some said bad luck ?
well i said

its life, learn to deal with it,
but not to complain about it .

major fucked up night

2009-06-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

a hate that is grown in me since the day that i know what is the word ''fuck'' . My dad start to educate me discipline when i was little , but too bad i don't know what is that at all . Therefore he use harsh way so that i can change ?? but guess what ?? i was only 11 that time . since that years he have been threating like a peice of shit that is been came out frmo my mum's ****

when his company is having some kind of problems , i was being the one to be fucked upside -down . where is there a dad wake the son up at 3 am and tell him to work his ass off and wash his estima ?? *that time when he is still ok with financial*
i am still a kid larrhhh come on , i dont know anything . being spank at the face when i start laughing with cousins ?? what the fuck is this ?? no fcuking sense at all .

life is getting even worse during highschool life . infact that is where my hate grew the most among all those years . i've seen things negative way . i became rebellious ever since then . i start to go against every rule that is being made ... school for an instance , i became a devilin ... feels good

i felt that , that is the way to express myself ... i hate my dad alot
during the year of pmr which is 15 the age i am , he stressed my like hell and told me to do household FOR FUCKSS ARHH ?? i mean everyone is being like last minute doing stuff and revision before they even can leave the house ... and this fucker told me to do household , i was mad and i threw all the plates on the floor like a crazy person . then he smacked me at the ear , my left ear drum is broken , bleed and went off the hospital for medication .

fucking pain weii , seriously he is insane !!

spm year , which i always hear the most shit frmo him . SON U BETTER EITHER FAILL YOUR SPM AND BETTER FUCK OFF FRMO MY HOUSE AND START YOUR OWN LIFE K ??

wtf is this what a father should say ?? plus he shouted at me to fuck off from this house and going to tell my aunty to stay outside wtf weii he is not human .. i rather feel wtf am i in this world for ?? to kena fuck ??

then tonight no dinner , without telling me earlier .. and he start to complain that i am asking too much .. come on i am just asking some basic stuff like dinner ??
asking for dinner also got mistake arr? ? wtf man !!
so i was asking that .. and he got so mad and he yelled at me , i was also trying to find a chance to fight him back !! therefore i spoil the damnn cupboard , broke few glasses and plates , and the toolbox ! and i hand to hand combat him

haihh why my grandfather did'nt torture him ?? haihh someone help me arr

of couse i win the combat lar !!

yeahh~

2009-06-05T03:09:00.001-07:00

life is just getting better and better , finally i've got my celcom 3g haha can online =) somehow they have this kind of limitation 5gig ?? my area sux cause dont have p1 w1max .. cause their package is like rm199 but u can use fro 20gig and 20 gig is like damnn a lot mannn ... some how here they dont have the reception for it =(

i skipped class today , cause i dont have the mood to draw today .. just dont know , usually i feel excited but recently haihh i just dont know what happen . yeahh yesterday i've got my ear pierced right at the bone there wahahah ouchh right ?? heehee .

college life is getting better and better , i've like social till everybody knows my name and stuff haha kinda cool haha and very unite too ... the group is kinda like very universal style , aint lala or some other shit .... in that group u can see nothing pure at all just normal and smart people and a joker like me haha and fuck the losers from smk dj , sucks to be with them haha

i just cant wait to get my illustrator cs4 haihh cause i really need it for my coursework and alot of practise too ^^

anyway today is a lil special day , kinda like can online !! heehee !! love it haha

2 week in college life

2009-05-22T00:26:00.001-07:00

haha i manage to find to online in my college's library ^^ .. well well what else can i say?? ummm sure is the unnamed guest is pretty annoying me , but if he bugs again , he sure is gonna test my limit >.< colllege life is well ... what can i say ?? stress ?? haha not yet i guess , not till the important assignment comes haha .... but pretty difficult compare to highschool

haha the people ?? the people here is not bad , manage to be in a sort of a group ^^ most likely very warm , kind and friendly ... some says feels like home and stuff ? haha but we have lunch always ... besides that some seniors that i've known in here are friendly and helpful .. great thing huh haha .. they really give good advice towards the junior , or shall i say the freshmen haha

lots of laughs and pretty moments recently , just that i hate to sit the bus back home , just imagine after i finish my research in the library .. and i have to sit in that rapid KL buss with all the smelly scent of all the malay and indian awww damnnn don't blame me for saying that heehee

always realise that the library dude feels like his job is so darn bored and lifeless , just imagine all the same work again and again ^^

btw i just love the assignments ^^ drawings and research and USE MONEY like mad on art materials >.<

anyway kind a rush always , so maybe i just end this post by saying ....... '' I WANNA HAVE A LAPTOP !!!!!!"

haha haha haha haha haha haha

finally my type of college

2009-05-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

yeahh the tittle says so , im in COLLEGE !! ! finally , and its the third day already . i started off playing cool along the way , but somehow i've just lost it . well new life new style !! haha and till today i've made some new friends too , not bad rightt ???

and the lecturers are not that bad , not like what my seniors have told me . but my classes are mostly in the morning . sometimes i dismiss early , but i have to get my internett!! ahh !!

and yeahh my class got leng luii larr , they come and approach me , and i know my drawing are good hahaa always get picked by my lecturers haha , dont mention about it , im not posting it up heehee

can't wait till my car comes !! but it only arrive next year , sad right ??
anyway lots of research about games and graphics , and also drawings too !!

yeah the world is really small cause i manage to see some people that i use to know during my primary school time ^^
5 damnn yearss , and i've met her again !!
her name is iva , used to draw alot of american comics heeheee
and grace lee ?? she's like the same schools with me since primary school ??
her drawing are amazing always !! salutee her for thattt ^^

its getting late , i gotta go

i'll promise that i'll update ^^

long hair dayss

2009-05-04T07:38:00.001-07:00

just gotten myself a decent haircut , thanks to his advice ^^ i look better , lighter , cooler , faster haha the bunch of hair is really very heavy and always slow me down wahahahahahaaa now with the new style i can match my clothes very well ^^

say ,2 more days to college , i am quite gan jiong but im all ready to get there and start everything ^^

wish me luck =p

14-4-09

2009-04-14T10:19:00.001-07:00

haha its time , and im already 18 !! legal to do anything wahahaha shh
yeahh my family wanted to give me something special , i request for
a psp !!

with the support of all of my family members , i think my lil dream
will come true ^^ i so wish to get to play graphic games ^^

and yeahh final fantasy crisis core !!

im quite satisfy for this year's bday , at least my parents are looking up to me ^^

thanks to jermaine , i really appreciate your call from all the way USA haha

i hope that everything can go smoothly when i got myself into college

a request to update ??

2009-04-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

hmm hmm okok la, i'll try to update k

well once again i am back to this blog , hmm hmm spider webs everywhere !! ahh ahhhh lemme clean it a lil ^^

its been one week already since the day i quited the job , i really have enough sleep lately. all i do is just sleep sleep sleep ! haha and my stress went away hoohoo . i've been starting to work out again , since my right arm is fully recovered .... ouchh the veins are still killing me

few months passed , i guess that everything in my past was settled but not be forgotteen , happy and sad times .... ''ahh..'' suddenly feel so nostalgic , there was one time i felt like i am not myself , so i've decided to spend rm8 to get one stack of new A4 paper just to spend my one month holiday with drawings .

i guess that drawings really can keep me away from thinking stupid and unimportant stuffs , should be thinking of that , one week from now it will be my bday , im a lil excited of it heehee , i heard that my parents will be getting me something special for my 18bday !! haha since small i always been thinking of how my life when i turn 18 !! like some comics that i read before !! where a life of a teenager will change when they turn 18 !! magicc and spells !! cursee !! haha okok i guess that i am just being too childishhh and lame ~ damnn that comic book !! heehee its just so interesting , cant get my hands off it =p

and yeahh recently i've also been very itchy , smsing everyone haha , but only some replied and that sucks that not to be told about many things , i am just being bored la kk !! haha dont blame me for that ahhahaaa, i know my peeps out there are having NS or college k !! but i know your courses are not as interesting as mine !! k !! wahahahahaaa coz i just know how and what is the best for me wahahahaaa

hey !! i'll update k !! dont bug me about it , i'll always remember =p

april fool's day

2009-04-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

yeahh today really suck , haha suck the shit out of everything .
and so i went to taylors college , i can say that the place sucks ,
really sucks to the maximum , i even wonder they ever
do maintanence for the car park >.<

later i head over to pyramid to watch dragon ball , and damnn
a little disapointed cause i just wana see goku to go super saia

haihh that scene haha roshi is like a perverted fuck hahaahaa
haha but he is funny ...

did'nt do much after quitting that job , really miss them lots , i plan to rest for one month and train my drawing skills , since its been a long time for not drawing and stuff , training on my focus and skill cannot make it , hopefully i can success and survive in college XD

haih

2009-03-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

well what can i say ?? i took many days off
my reasons are .. ...

1.sick suddenly
2.wanted to check out the one academy
3.checking new motor
4.wan to celebrate her bday

i guess i did'nt accheive any of them >.<
i know the reasons , but i guesss im ok ?? now sitting down here like an idiot .
just dunno what to do , passing time like wasting water

the day comess

2009-03-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

wahaha i am back again ,, wahaha and no more her , umm realise that she is a bitch hmm but who cares .. umm umm i think i deserver a better person than her wahaha , anyway things gotten more smooth when i get into there wahaha .

well she is not working there anymore , but i will be meeting her with friends for tomorrow .. to all ma sistersss i will miss ya all , will be working till end of this month , and get another job with a better payy !!

baked cookies with them recently , and i realise our cookies are not bad !! umm the pictures are in her blog , umm umm even till now , i am still munching those cookies . . . no one to share it haha but i like those moments with them , so much fun !! except for the hair tie thing grr ... im gonna get u for this =p

anyway our friend jin kan is trying to court my gay supervisor but he failed haha and never show himself in my boutique again wahahahahahaaa

the day

2009-02-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

well im back out of no where , just have to say that i am sweating right now and using my friend's pc ^^ ... um somehow my boss knew about that incident for using the company's computer to surf online . i kinda got scolded by him but not that serious. anyway working life have been a lil ups and downs .

friends kinda get sacked because of doing something stupid.. hmm i wonder why they will do that , just hope the fault will not come to me .. my boss told me not to do something that will make myself believe people easily . umm kinda disapointed that she will do that , but who cares ?? i have my life , and i help her enough =.=

i just follow what did the boss order me to , i mean its working life u know ?? just live with it , its not like i will do something so dumb and acting infront of everybody . its just me , i just don't understand at all .

i felt that the job do suits me , but its just the salary does'nt keep me satisfy at all .i so wanted to change job , but where else can i find a job with so much of fun in it ?? i have great friends like my boss and my supervisor and also my staffs too ^^ well other places have more political stuffs going on =.=
i so wanted to see some of my classmates =( but i still did'nt miss school yet blek =p haha

well on valentines haihh , before that night i wanna give something that resembles my appreciation deep down from my heart . she is that someone that makes me feel comfortable when i am together with her . that night before valentines -.- i thought of giving up on her , its because i am afraid that i will not control myself and go emotional till the extreme =( i always think a lot and wild and uncontrollable thoughts and imagination . perhaps this is something that i really have to change . i and her were working same shift on that day itself . she looks more emotional and nervous in the morning . she did'nt tell me what's going on , but soemone told me that a guy already have confessed to her before valentines day , hmm i guess he is someone idiot , i mean ''come on '' its so darn early and such a wrong moment man !! hmm i guess i am the second guy who wants to show my feelings on her but i cant . i have a work to hang on for months =( its very painful inside , just have to wait till she officially stop her work -.-
anyway the gift that i gave her is something really special and its totally original that no one dares to think about it than using money to buy gifts like flowers and chocolates haih

i made her something , well of course im not gonna tell u guys here , umm if u are lucky and u know her , just ask her and see how's her attitude . i can say that she will just trying to act like nothing happen and nothing shaken her heart at all . i guess that this is the bad side of her ?? i somehow just know that she felt it and she just dun wan to face it ?? damnn it man , why dont you just realise and accept it ?? i mean i am not desperate , just that who else do u want ?? i rather just do anything just to achieve my target and my goal . i know these kind of feelings cannot be shown by just money but to me every relationship is very special and precious . just accept that u are different than the ones in my life ok ??

i dunno whether do u know me writing about you but , i can say that at times i dunno whether to hate you or not ?? its just that u told me that u wanna change the way u are , but u are avoiding me and trying to keep away from me that badly .. i mean when it is working , and yeahh u are serious . we are all nearly 18 and feeling of liking someone will be getting stronger and stronger . i dun wan to share too much .. who knows no one will read it ?? hmm hmm i wonder
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bored 2nd day of cny

2009-01-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

haihhh today is one day which makes me feel so bored . my supervisor woke up late and our shop almost got saman ! lols he sure have a nice night !! he made us wait like hell . but my friends and i manage to have our breakfast before our supervisor came to the rescue .

we had permission to wear anything we like for the second day and third day of cny , lols so i wore something like my supervisor's style , which are formal collar shirt and a pair of jeans . lols looks like since my manager went back to his home town , wahaha seems like me and supervisor went up one level of ranking haha

since my supervisor is incharge , so i am incharge of supervisor's pose !! lols !! behold my friends , the youngest supervisor in the mall xp

its bored , somebody help me !!

after once upon a time

2009-01-25T03:03:00.000-08:00

wahh its already months ever since after highschool's life . now im almost 18 and going young !! wahaha

anyway i know u guys are wondering where is the kingsum that u people are expecting, well my internet is still down and , cause of that i am working in a boutique called , kitschen . a branch which is subbed from nichii . haha my boss and supervisor are great. lucky i met such nice people . im going to work there till this coming june . hopefully everyday makes me feeling stronger ^^ haha

used to feel that working in malls are such a pain for my legs ^^ haha , but not anymore haha cause i have friends working here , hmm rebecca lye and moy lien =)

well suppose i am working with my best friend , but somehow he did badly and got fired from my boss . well as if i did'nt warn him , but he is always slow as usual ,and know things slow as a tortise , hmm haih he needs to make a big change and serious self improovement . so long my friend , if u did well and maintain your performance, and u will still gain respect from everyone , but u did'nt try hard enough . hope to see u success in your way .

well i found out that working is a better place compared to studying , and no more discipline case , lols ^^ its just the self personality which need to be learnt by yourself . human do learn by themselves , through their mistakes and gain knowledge from it . some say that my speech are like a philosopher , but actually i got lots to learn , and more obstacles are ahead of me .

wahaha cant believe i am using the company's line for internet wahaha

ngek~ so long for the people i know who are selected for ns !

NS=BOtaK

hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaghah

genting trip

2008-12-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

i went to genting for our so called '' class trip '' for 3 days 2 nights umm ... did'nt have much fun there , i guess i did'nt enjoy much but think more instead. ending up sick , well sore throat >.< infact all the outdoor theme park games , haha i've tried em all woohoo . the unforgettable one , which is the space shot !! haha many people felt shocked about it haha and fear towards it ~! haha , i follow the girls play becoz i felt like it lols , im such a follower =p but who cares ? as long i had fun at the lil moment haha

well as far i can remember i also tried on the flying coaster !! haha the one that took my breath away haha , one round of that ride included that 720 degree turn ! and omg ! i fear that my friend will puke on me haha , such a loser lol wahahaaa

the girls

bowling in genting !! wahaha we played crazilly haha , of coz lee ping won every match !! damnn her !! becoz of my sick condition ! if not i will always be the first for sure !!

that's me wahaha
BEFORE

lee ping , the look after she throw the bowling ball
AFTER

her look for a monkey buisness !! wahaha

haha kiddy games !! in a bowling alley !!

my friends and i , and i am on the right !!

taken that lovely picture with the retard me before leaving genting

well so long and farewell , my fellow mates

why today ?

2008-12-06T06:00:00.001-08:00

why ?? what sort of thing happen around me again ??
i just doing something good to benefit u people ??
and why ?? why u just left me like this ??
just one text and u left me alone on this lonely road ??
why left me in a time like this ??
why two together at once ??

i cant think of a way out
it seems problems are rapidly coming and coming

is there so many obstacles around me ???
two roads clashing ?? affected my thinking and health ??
migrain lately , health is against me too

everything messed up

stress kao la

2008-12-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

someone help me !! i damn kao stress , and i need an assistant !!

call 017-2632667
call for more details

im back

2008-11-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

well its after spm , im online as usual , infact i did'nt off at all .
haha im back coz someone is complaining that my blog is growing fungi ! lols spider web by now haha all over ! spider man was here *

anyway days goes by , i really being distracted by alot of things , the wounded me was no longer crying in the dark , or bleeding >.< its just those dark moments are way long gone =.= recently dunno what to talk to u , umm dunno at all

i hated highschool life as usual , hate the system , hate the teachers , hate everyone .. i guess that is what i do haha . end of highschool makes me feel more lifeless , not feeling like working

family problems as usual , freaking old man again !! arghhh *hope he die faster *

love life ?? lol its confidential , umm arghh fu*k it again man =p

music life and art life ?? umm theres a lil change in me , i hear black metal and hard rock !! Japanese lala rock also got !! haha
could'nt draw , as if i lost my limbs sobs

my sleeping time are exchange , as if i sold my soul towards the demon ! haha long live satan !! lols and i've became anti christ lately !! haha

ummm ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

ummmmmmmmm ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and i learn to play drum just right a day before sejarah spm !! lols kanasai !! wahaha

random me

2008-11-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

haha nothing to do , that is why i drew this

fuck it !!

2008-11-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

i fucking fail again !! ji baii pukima !! mama pndek luu !!

fucking shit up + panic = fucking leave the classroom

fucked life + fucked spm = i dunno what the hell am i

i am not facing it at all

2008-11-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

from what i know , i am freaking shit off with history paper and now maths , teacher i really let u down .

my stupidity and arrogant attitude towards education is a shame to everyone .
i cant face myself anymore = ..(
i felt useless and lifeless

i cant believe i fuck spm
and i wasted my fucking life and commit to something shit up
i've wasted my youth joining stupid shit up stuff

a dark road and got fallen from the highway , and realised i am the worse

to live in malaysia , i hope my bm can pass just to get that cert
at least a cert to state my failure

my dream is to get into the one academy where my art life starts
i just hope that they will accept me in , not based on my results but i can really draw and i have a mind that is not common compared to other human beings

i cant even open my mind to think and just shit up
i even call myself a fucked up and wasted sperm of nature
laughing away my youth away

people say that study is the most important and easy thing for a human to do ,
if that person could'nt get that , there's no difference compared to a barbarian

ended writing in a sick condition

nothing can let me down

2008-11-09T21:40:00.000-08:00

nothing can let me down these few moments , im fully motivated !!

im going to do my best in my spm !
spm is gonna determine my life !
im gonna proove to all the fuckers in the world !
i can do it !
i am positive thinking !

if u think u can ,
then u can !

fuck that sohai

2008-11-08T22:43:00.000-08:00

im fucking emotional right now ! fuck highschool life , fuck teenager's time , fucking family relationship , fuck everthing ~!

so called dad ! deng u , i declare that i am adopted ! fucking sohai

he ruin my mood once again !
he pressure me during pmr ! i had enough with u

and now ??

u wan to fuck with me about spm ! go die !

ji baii he wants me to move out from this house ??
who the fuck is he ??
he is a fucking old man !

and thanks alot to u mum ! i really hate u too
u help me and stabb me at the back once more

i really dun have this kind of heart towards mankind and love anymore !
i am off alone !

fuck that shit ! fuck everything fuck life !

just nice to ruin my fucking mood for spm ! great isn't it ??
i am fucking mad ! fuck everything that sohai made me became this !!

why emotionally ?? why and what the fuck ??
i already fucking ignore u ! why tiu kao me ??

u freaking lifeless shits !!

graduation day

2008-11-07T07:03:00.000-08:00

graduation day , kind a like a nice day haha . ends up not so nice for me , umm maybe im not seeking that kind of picture taking fun ^^ but im ok with it. i got encourage from my dear teachers ^^ love them , pn.NG, pn LIM ,pn LOO and puan shalawati ^^ miss them so much =)

although so called ''last day '' but i dun think that i will shed a tears. perhaps i dun really care so much ?? but at the same time my inner self wanted to care as much as i do , but i told myself , the results show them that how good they are ^^

anyway i've been taken some pictures with my friends , unfortunately one online and send the picture to me ^^

its me and my dear friend cheau wei

heehee cheau wei remember our promise !! heeehee

its time

2008-11-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

umm perhaps we spm students know that spm is around 4 days more or less ??

i went out and spend my evening in sunway for the jazz night, its a first time i went for a place like that, drank beer , and i went red so quickly.
luckly i never smoke , but i really found it ok with the bands there , i apologise haha im a music idiotic haha .

well my friend justin introduce namHon to me ,haha a fucking friend ^^ haha fun though , seriously wacky haha =) umm we drank once again haha after a few songs we went to kayu for teh ais , irrisistable.

tomorrow is the final day of school , high school i meant ending my teenage life here ... as time flies by
hate going to school is becoz of the stupid hall thing so called graduation

haha my hair is long edii haha *sorry for the vain =p *
school rules haha , u think i care ?? o.o
come la siva exspell me tomorrow la haha , since last day , already one month haha
now like korean guy's hair wahahah
umm dunno maybe getting highlights haha , but malaysia surely damn hot
hot weather reminds me of sweat !! and i hate thaT !!

anyway i gotta sleep early tonight , i always forget sleeping
and end up waking up in the afternoon ^^

gtg =)

gundam00 second season !!

2008-11-01T06:33:00.001-07:00

finally i've awaited !! and now its downloadable !!

gundam 00 2nd season
sunrise production ^^

lock-on and setsuna
my favourite character !!
skillfull gundam meisters ^^

meet the characters
from clockwise lock-on , tiera , allelujah and setsuna

this was the models and displaying exactly frmo the last scene of season one ~

im still middle of nowhere

2008-10-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

well i duno what makes me blog for so early in the morning umm 1.36Am ??
u guess i feel very lonely for the day and i wan to share and spit it out ,
i hope this will make me feel better . but school life will be ending in one month's time ?? honestly when everytime i said that i dun miss , behind those shits , i actually enjoy but not 100%. highschool to me is something dreadfull , politics ?? kind a but still its life ....

i watch loveguru , and guru pitka said when u are nowhere , well now u are ''now - here '' i guess i am still figuring it out and if u want to find a fastest way to solve a problem ?? , well throw the problem to a lazy person , they will find a shortcut to solve it !! i guess it sounds wacky , but its true well this is the second thing which i am gonna practise ^^

i've also encouraged by some of my dear friends , they really made me wake up and ready for battle in life , but still my mind might not accept it , yet life goes on

yet still awake =.=
studying , << trying very hard to

i felt better in time

2008-10-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

im back blogging haha , umm umm recently i totally kept myself busy.
studying , lots of reading , and been staying in friends house.
just to hold myself from my com addiction,
it went pretty well,

my driving agent friend told me to push 50 sales and during this period of spm,
i felt a lil impossible ,
and i dun have any confident in doing that,
my revision still half way hanging.
umm about ''her'' i guess the feeling is no longer there ,
perhaps fading , i even can joke even more better with her ,
perhaps best friend ^^

my friendster was darn active recently,
lots of friends ^^
i met this girl ^^
she's like me too , she draw haha anime ^^ woohoo
smsed her lately , hope we can meet =)
i even ask her to teach me how to draw girl anime << i really suck in it =p
she's a nice person haha
i felt people around me are having their own problems too /
so i shall not be so upset about my problems

well i skipped school for almost one month ,
and my lifestyle is sickenning >.<
woke up at 11am and use to computer
just to give myself excuses that my phone did'nt set the clock >.<
and so i on friendster and check email and stuff
there's one time haha , i was scolded from one of my dearest friend^^
well i know its you , so u dun need to feel wrong about scolding me ,
u really say words from your heart ,
i really appreciate that thanks ~
now i know who care me the most ^^

anyway , studying is not tough at all just that ,
im not that maths and science person ,
and thanks to my friends and sisters who support my back ^^
i appreciate u all haha

friends just remain as friends,
buddies just remain buddies ,
i learn something else frmo the movie love guru,
guru pitka lols ,
he's totally wacky like me !! haha but he is my sensei !! woohoo

haha my favourite movie ^^

anyway lots of nice things he said , just that he made it look stupid
i also wish i can write a book about my life ^^
besides that i also learn something frmo my friend's mistakes
but i've picked a line or two from
his blog:[是你的就是你的；不是你的就不是你的 ;是我的就是我的；不是我的就不是我的]
saying that:[ whats yours is yous , whats not yours are always not yours]

it can be apply in every situation , umm especially love ^^
okok i'll better head back to my darling books haha lols
study time ~

is it me ??

2008-10-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

funny thing , i felt changes

this afternoon i went to get some notes from my friend's house , umm she said that i look skinnier and taller ?? umm is that true ?? i was surprised

after that i went to ss2 for pasar malam, there's my china friend even as about my age , whether am i 18 ?? lols that young merr ?? my other friend laugh like shit , lols ?? kid ? haha

just felt shit up ~

after dinner , i chat with some of my nerdy friends about i started studying ~
they ''laugh'' once again !! walao weii ~ they think i am fucking life coz i work outside during spm year , i was like whats wrong man ?? can't a person like me study ?? they even think that i will skipp spm ?? what the shits ??

i just feel : '' walao weii !! '' << why u guys think i am a person like that one ?? they even think i will joke my life away man haih i dun wan to spend my whole time cleaning the drains with my wife man !! come on a man should have a target to accheive what a man needs !! no matter chicks or money ?? or even buisness !! im gonna have it all !! im glad that i am back on the track again ! bye bye emos !!

i felt motivated !! out of no where

i was lost

2008-10-22T02:59:00.000-07:00

lost again , so i went out cycle to make myself better , i speed and speed
i realise that i dun have that strengh and stamina anymore but why ??

im feeling sad again , but i dun wan to. this feeling is just like rain . it comes when it wanted to run and speed !! and dun wan to come back

i wan to speed and speed and never return , hope i can go to one place where people are just like a happy fairy tale and have a happy ending

fairy tale ?? impossible , i have to face the fact , forget means forget
everytime when it rains flashes and pieces of memory just appear in my head as always , sweet moment of the past

unforgettable

just a little bit

2008-10-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

fianlly those misunderstanding days were over , i finally can sleep peacefully . Somehow my mind did'nt wonder on its own , felt comfortable just a little bit .
Every night , my mind wonders in the past and future , what is my dream is telling me ??

i see people and places which i felt familiar , but i was in some funny clothes , one thing i am sure that it was'nt fake , and in my dream i have this kind of ability to see through dimention , i can read people's minds and heart too .
then she got into my head once again , that feeling of pain and scream ,a scream of a girl which makes my heart bleed .

awwfull ~ dredfull ~ and totally felt pain

my dreams are just like visions , it always jump here and teleport to some other places and totally different time , from the past , present and the future .
i will suffer amnesia when ever i woke up , my head is totally oily and sweaty .
i hate this kind of feeling when i am asleep. i guess something disturb my mind .
lost of memory when ever i try to remember it.

i will have flashes of every lost piece of memory , when the sky is dark and drizzle . i always wonder what is she doing and what am i doing to myself , and i thinking and feeling something wrong ??

i started working with my friend just to find a way to forget about that whole thing , but everytime when i lay my head on my bed , i just felt it back again , its like coming back to me once again . those moments , those feelings , those incident , those scars , those memory ...

i felt this is real

2008-10-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

its just yesterday , after finish talking , i feel like hearing this song
it just make me feel better although a king but he needs to find his queen

''QUEEN OF MY HEART '' - westlife

So here we stand
In our secret place
Where the sound of the crowd
Is so far away
You take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong

So how do I say
Do I say goodbye
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

But no matter how far (no matter how far)
Or where you may be (where you may be)
I just close my eyes (just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all off our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all off our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

Oh yeah
You're the queen of my heart (queen of my heart)
No matter how many years it takes (queen of my heart)
i'm coming home to you
Oh yeah (queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart

''A wall had build strong and high between us''

2008-10-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

i could only remember this line , for the rest of my life

''A wall had build strong and high between us '' = to me is no more friend/no hope ??

i really dun wan to end it like this ...
i dun even feel that was me ,
is there any misunderstanding between us ??
u've locked your blog ,
which sometihng i know about it ,
it makes me wonder more ,
face it or dun face it ?
i wanted to escape a long time ago ,
just wan to let u go

anyway do whatever u like , i will keep myself away just to be near u
i dun wan those memory come back
or even flashback
i just wan to vanish and never return
i guess i am curse in such a way
which i dunno how ??

i also hope u can get a guy who loves u alot
and i hope u will know how to appreciate a friend's care
i guess these days i really analyze a person u are
till i can read u like a book
which i really do

i will make my conclusion short
and will shorten my part
i guess if it was a mistake to love u
i guess i really have the courage of try to love u
but things just got bumpy on the way
i just do things on my way

i really hate people talking bad about something
i've change to hate people like betrayers or even anything
its ok , to build relationship
but talking bad about people is something that should'nt be in a friendship

well do anything u like ,
i've done my part as a friend
''if u really think i was a friend of yours ''
go on and hear to other people talking about
whatever i do ??
and just go clubbing
just do whatever u wanted to

i just wanna tell u
i will cut the crap out of the things i'll do to u
another mile to avoid from u
just another space to forget you

day of expected and unexpected

2008-10-15T01:34:00.000-07:00

th day have arrived in my thoughts of this day along time ago
it all began by a person which i cant forgive
a person whom i trusted once and will never trust
since this post is to let a special person in my heart to see
i know its hard where u heard both sides of people talking about me

but

i just have one thing to say , its hard for me too
since the day i have that feelings towards you,i already told myself its impossible
its already a mistake , but what i can say that i am not pretending anything
things gets harsh when i can't keep my emotions and my feelings
i mix with u its not becoz i wan to kao u
i help u its not becoz i wanna have a chance to say i love you
i mix with your friends is not becoz i wanna check on you
i do so many things is not to make myself look like a good man
but ~
i do whatever things to u all its friendship and true
i benefit u people , but nothing benefits me
i can say that its a development of my sweat and blood

i would like to tell u , but i cant
the truth is , that night at your sister's wedding,
i was not pretending to purposely to stay in your house,
i just wan to rest for a while due to my head was heavy,
and its hard to be concious
believe what u think its right , i will not stop u
i even know that u think i am following u to the kitchen just to do something that u might thought of ??

lemme tell u , i just wan to lend your housephone to call my dad not to latch the main door

its very simple , becoz u hear to your aiya sister say and u forget what we have as friendship ?

i feel very disapointed when i know about this , things spread quickly
i was asking myself not to believe what other people say
but
i still move on as my old self

do u know ? when the first time i have feelings towards you ...
so many good friends of mine has so much conflict and betraying happenning in my life ??
i always trying to improove myself and again and again
i dun care whether people accept me or not
i just know that i dun belong to any group for long
this case
i dun wan to tell out if becoz i know its something personal , and i dun wan to make it so hard for u becoz u are their friends

becoz of changing myself better i talk to them who betray me instead of wacking them and being a barbarian

.............................................................
*************************************************************
*************************************************************
*************************************************************

days goes by ,
when i talk to u in msn ,
u reply me as if u dun even wan to talk to me ,
but i keep trying trying ,
i never give up ,
everynight i got say good night and ''zhu fu '' u and him to get to know each other and get along before i sleep

i know it hurts , and it hurts very bad in my heart
but i still do it , these words just cant come out from my mouth
so many things happening behind me
its just like falling in a deep hole
...
and it gets in deeper
deeper ...
and deep

as my wound never heals ....

i just feel very bad , and wondering whether liking u is a bad thing ??
and finally i realise , u dun trust me and start to have less confidence in me
i am shy and emotional when it comes to liking someone and never tell out
its just me

things changed around , during the movies , i really think alot and not paying fully attention towards the movie
that is why i am thinking alot
i dun wan to say something stupid
but my face just showed it ,
i dun that to happen ,
but i just wan to feel your last existance when i am with u
as in a distance ,
coz i will try and do whatever just to stay away from u

i know its hard to believe everthing is different from what is infront of me
its worse to compare the view of my front and back
i just feel ........
i know everything from what have u think from the beginning
and as predicted it happened

thou

everynight my mind wonders and worry about u
that is why i dun like u to go to clubbing
its not that i wan to control
but i know i cant be there for u
im just dun suit to be your boyfriend ?? and suddenly felt that
just a minor conflict and misunderstanding and makes u feel different about me
i tried to forget about u
my tears just keep shed every moment when i am thinking about you

no matter where ever i go and what ever i do

*this pose is to someone who i really deeply in love before *

butterfly lovers~

2008-10-13T05:19:00.000-07:00

i watched that movie today , nice movie thou , touched by that movie ,
ah sa u're acting very good ne , i love your movies ^^

also first time see wu zhun acting , hmm ok la

have to go ~ *no mood *

mature de sam !!

2008-09-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

saturday~

2008-09-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

saturday morning , i've been awoke by a phone call
my friend harry gave me a wake up call
he rushed me , need some help
he drove me and his sister to ss2 , suppose to promote streamyx and celcom broadband
saw some mppj strolling there , we change location SO
we change location to TAMAN MEGAH

its already 10am and we planned to do the promotion thing in the morning market

BUT

its consider late , many aunties just go there and have a 5 minute shop for food ~

after that harry treated his sis and me for breakfast !! haha dimsum !!
kind a full after that , i reach home with that mood of mine ~

maybe sales is what harry have trainned me , eventhough i know my art can't bring me that far ,but at least doing sales is my another route to success in life

my mum is doing sales too , but she is doing melilia , promoting something like direct-sales product .
she even told me to join her , but in my mind are HARMONY DRIVING ACADEMY & STREAMYX !!

but it will be even better to do more , since i got this experience haha
my mum already planned and sign my name in some buisness talk for tomorrow by the theme of '' being young and rich ''

she knows that i like doing sales heehee , but she wants me to learn from an experience billionaire haha , its gonna be a talk from 2pm - 6pm just hope i dun die of boredness XP a naughty boy like me can do anything to entertaint myself hehee

wish me luck for tomorrow >(00)<

mix feelings

2008-09-26T05:26:00.001-07:00

today school was a mix up man , but it start out quite smooth beginning . as usual my classmates will bragg about stuff haha . its good to see my classmates again ^^ .
lots to talk about , and i manage to see her again ^^ its a nice feeling as if flowers bloom out of a piece of rotton land . its wonderfull.

it came out quite shy for my to talk to her again , but i will keep talking to her no matter what it takes . although yesterday my success for sales did'nt seem to make her a lil excited but i talked about it to her friends hmm ^^ it turn out that she wants to take driving together with me , its nice ^^ in my heart was like , FINALLY u've come to me and my driving heehee XD . all the hard work is paid off and its coming back

ping and i planned to watch horror movie in yuen's house but poh yee did'nt show up , dunno why she also never call us and inform us >.< so after school we are about to wait for yuen with cheauwei along , well suddenly ping felt that since poh yee did not come , so its kind a like lesser by one person , and she CANCELED it . kind a disapointed though . then ping saw en kane , all the way opposite of from where we've standing , then she is kind a looking and staring at him calling him leng chai this and leng chai that , heehee . its funny to see her reaction like that , i also hope to see her with her smile seriously brighten my day .

but at the other hand , i also cannot hide my feelings from her . seeing her happy its good , but wut is for me actually is very hurtful , well its my fault for not being the perfect guy in her eyes . sad thou , but what can i do ? i know that love cannot be forced . its just like wut my friend said to me , '' a pair of swan swimming on the lake peacefully and beautifully , but did u guys realize below the water ?? '' , '' its a very owfull scene , where hardwork is put in , as the pedal with their legs hard just to remain that beautifull of theirs on the water surface '' my feeling is just very pain , and hurt its just like a knife just stabb me out of no where . but i also got wish to forget you and just to forget that kind of pain but i just cant. why ?? everyday and every momment with myself alone , im just thinking about you . cant sleep because i am thinking of my faults , and mistakes and also wuts wrong with you being so quiet , that always reflects me as being a bad person ??

To her '' i know liking u in the first place is wrong , cause i know u like that person very long . but one thing i want you to know that the moment we have together as friends is something that a feeling which is growing inside me because of ur existance and ur smile , your smile and trust is so powerful to me . i really love it , although it is not visible for ur trust but my feelings are telling me everytime . just most of the things reminds me of you , it will be a hard stage for me to let you go , but i just cannot do that so easily . it is because i really deeply fallen in love with you ''

wut can i do to make things better ?? i admit i am dumb at times , im not that sweet kind of guy that everyone is thinking about . just like i said i am not perfect like the person that u are admiring =( but everytime i see him , i would like him to be my role model . seems like he is perfect , a 5 star leng chai to girls but i also got good points heehee ^^ im also not that sucky le ~

after art lessons , my art teacher free us out of the class early , so we went to the canteen , suppose we are very early , so i've met my school most annoying discipline teacher , owhh man he is a fuck off man . i just hate him . (ook i'll cut if short ) he told me and some of my friends to go back to class , so like i just did , i follow his instructions , i walk back to class . so he yell at me and he came and chase me like a darn ass dog well i pitty him for being such an ass in school .

He drag me to the office where all the big heads of the school were . i went in as if i am going in to my toilet , well its just a lil coozy inside there ,i talk to his boss the head of the department of discipline , << it sucks , she just get promoted , but still a kind teacher . i knew her so she knows my style , baggy long pants with a rotten end with the shoe , and long hair heehee my style and a lil attitude with teachers . she gave me a warning letter for the things that i've done but its nothing actually . encik siva (a really dog-behaved)- discipline teacher , which runs his job like a waiter in indian stores >.< yet still i pitty him he have to ask for permission for caining me haih i wonder those days whether is he getting enough of student banging him down from his motorcycle haha . after talking to that ''encik siva '' his boss talked to me politely since we've known each other since when i am form 4 haha so its one years ffriend heeheee , still she did not disapoint me for talking to me like dat . but she let me off

after thinking about that lucky i am the one who is being caught by the feller , coz she was there in the canteen too , i dun wan her to take blame . So i was the one who is sacrifice for her , and only her in my heart . i dun wan her to take any mistakes so i take the blame for her and for those who are innocent . some how i think it is very worth it .

so i walked back and it rains , seeing the girl that i like, rushing home with the rain , im just so worried for her , i hope she did'nt get sick , coz i really care about her ~ and if she gets sick i will feel pain in my heart .

dun get sick yeah , coz i really concern that very much although it is just a small matter but it will cost my life to feel it together with u and i always think about u

close a sales ??

2008-09-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

yeah !! finally i've close a sales man !! commision rm30 !! haha , i smsed a few people , well my friend harry congratz me , but one thing that did'nt made me happy is , you . cause when i messeged u , u dun probably care =( well its ok .

maybe i messeged u wrong time ?? gomenasai (sorry) ermm i will do better next time . well really hope u have fun with ur mum ^^ hope i am not bugging u >.< but its seriously very happy when i close sales = ) , i hope i can share with someone who i think who is my part of my life ^^

im happy after i left with my commission !! heehee cycle back home smiling heehee

a bomb of change out of my head and thoughts about u

2008-09-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

since i know edi , its hard i know . well i will give my turn one more chance to make it up to u . somehow i've forgotten how to talk , ermm i felt that i need to make a change at there . cheauwei said that i use to be talkative but recently mature edi ma , so i talk lesser and lesser fun but i will still try and give it out man ^^

but when things change i would like to be the first to know that the last to realise , coz i doubt whether am i a really close friend with u , the things i do is really from the bottom from my heart one , im not acting or not doing anything to win anything except for the truth la coz i hate rumours and i really seek for it and solve it just like how i solve this misunderstanding , but intend , no need to explain to u . its just a lil difficulty to express myself these days .

yet i still try to act like nothing happen , trying to be the happy me and also trying to avoid everything that can make me feel sad about u , but still i will move on as life goes on and move ahead . XP

i will treat u better and i hope our friendship will be more stronger than yesterday ^^ and also thanks to zinia and cheauwei haha

its a promise between us

2008-09-23T05:18:00.001-07:00

a promise for me to her

2 weeks dun talk to the person on msn ! although she dun choi me edi , but still my mind still got her ne , but only 2 weeks dun talk to her , it will be better dun talk to her face to face , but if i cannot tahan , well as long as i dun talk to her on msn .

your sincerely and the one and only kingsum XD

2 weeks man !! i wan to really think le , 2 weeks later only take decision
but something hit me back again, i have this feeling that i will not follow de haha , i will still talk to her haha since those things that she is hearing from other people . well haha i know wut she know haha , but i memang not this kind of person ma . im happy coz u are trusting me again , but seriously i memang nothing de

finally happy

2008-09-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

today , felt very happy haha , sat with cheauwei , cheaurou haha and also kar kay >.< well its nice to have pizza with so many people haha , its fun muahahahaaa
today is also the only day that i did'nt think of anything extra , feeling very happy during classs , i was knocked out for one hour and did'nt notice about it , no one wake me up , my indian friend told me that i sleep like a ghost .

after school i've eaten pizza's well dunno how many i've eaten , but got food dun waste .
being a good boy is good haha and i felt really better today.
after that , i cycle back uphill to my house ^^ its a hot day , well what can i do ?? i'll just have to drink lots of water to stay healthy

miss or not miss , care or no care

2008-09-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

its me again , and with my new attitude , although i know there are still things happen around somewhere , but i am still a human being with a heart and a strong will. girls , haih girls . mostly guys are sad and live becoz of girls. Girls treated me like trash , some treated me like god, some treated me like shit , a number of girls treat me like their best friends . well there are so many kinds , but each time i fall in love with one of them , this is always sad things happen to me .

it is either they are bored with me , or i am just too stupid or scared to make a move, but this time i really like a girl with my own heart , conflict happen but i manage to change it around . its a new me , and a new start , a new life . although i know she's been going out with someone . but i am feeling worry instead of angry and sad . i cant control everything , and cant control her doings and behaviour , i like wut she is and i like wut she is before and now , with all my heart .

somehow i feeling that i really hate myself for not doing enough , but as a friend there's limit and everything have a limit . maybe she gave a chance for me to kao her , but i still not ready for it , so im kind a fuck that chance , but i know my feelings are right , so i will still continue no matter what !! this is a promise to myself ! i will not let go so easily , i'll just back off if there is someone who wants to get u . i will know my limit , but i still cant make a move coz i know that i cant give happiness to u , nor protection or even conditional love or unconditional love . so i dun think i am ready physically or even mentally , well sorry to disapoint u .

guys i will gambateh ! i will get a career and a stable living then only i will go for u !! i will not regret de !! i will not make u wait so long !! i will fight for it as live is a war !!! i must get that victory to proove that i can do it ~

my feelings ~

2008-09-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

well this is me , my expression for tonight

i seriously trust myself , than rumours

if rumours still remains

no matter how close ur friendship , best friends will not be best friends , if rumours are believe blindly

so trust yourself first , and get to know the TRUTH , so that u will not lose a best friend ^^

i miss myself in 2007

2008-09-20T03:16:00.001-07:00

its me 2007 midyear ~

nothing else just felt that i've change so much haha but i stilll like my previous appearance haha but it was all came to an end

i bet the new me will be a better looking and a better person , and good attitude too ^^

cooling time ~

2008-09-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

DAMN, time passes by real fast . days go by , things are getting chilling . after hardcore session with bk , i felt real comfortable , and happier.

After hardcore talking , i rushed to OU to meet up with ping and friends , haha and yuen's mum haha . Cool people , those are the people that i wan to mix with haha , damn crazy but fun haha comfortable . pizza session , PIZZA MADNESS !! woohoo damn crazy , lost counted of how my pieces haha , but we manage to wack the pizzza in our stomach ^^

haha 23th september another pizza war for me haha !im gonna wack all again haha !!

my conclusion is , when a person is a truth seeker like me , he will seek out rumours and the cause of the rumours untill the can find the root of the truth XP

game over [D5] short time ? satistfy ?

2008-09-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

well after that courage of mine went in my head , i guess i turn this game around . somehow my friends told me after the talk with the person who willing confess himself. so i've got to say that u've done a good job , but time is everything for the recovery and people thinks about ur impression too although u keep it well , but i did'nt win anything at all .

but one thing that i won is the TRUTH , the truth between the jelousness and all that scene behind me . u've done more than a friend , so i just say that u've done too much , which will make people feel suspicious. i've learnt lots of things from this case. felt relief about it . and i suppose u too .

things should be this way , when u know about the truth , u will solve the problem and do not even include any girls or guys that the person like , just come and ask straight , do not hide and backstabb and talk bad behind , its not great at all. although i change this drama just 5 days , well consider very chilling and pro already , felt that my thinking had grown lot of level and stages in one day .

although u've said that im childish before , but its just a cover of mine , i guess i blow it and made u shocked , well presenting the new me . I expected u will have this feeling , its just natural , just u answering me questions and i know which is lie and which is from the heart. lucky i've complete things this way . i hope this is over for the rest of my life .

coz its too political ! and a surprise for myself , i've help myself to become stronger even in tears and memories of sorrow . that moment is really dark and lonely. but one thing is i dun trust anyone , anymore not even my family , the success road is a lonely path for every human being and i know that friends are just another noun for betrayers , i dun buy that anymore . u're lucky that u've never met my bad side of me , cuz u dun wan it to happen , dun let me hear anything from u , cuz i will be stronger and stronger everyday

my happy ending ~ its just starting baby

2008-09-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

so much for my happy ending , well i guess not , the real my just rise.
u think u got friends support?? well i tell u its just a matter of time.
i will proove it to everyone , im the person that u think i am ??
haha infact , the way u looks sad ?? i feel damn 7 happy !
stronger than ever , no one can beat me down ~
well try me i will be sad to see u being such person, all along i see u wrongly
judge with all u can , coz if u think that threatening her is wat u can do ? well guess again ! i am not that kind of guy right now , since u can do that , i can do better but i dun wan coz i dun wan to become another jerk like u , the ''mastermind'' behind all cases

turn it up ! 5 minutes to midnight!! you're coming home with me tonight !

2008-09-15T06:29:00.001-07:00

woohoo , sept 14 pass , im back brand new again.
im feeling great and loving it.
haha well off to books and facts to remember ^^

well time is precious , gonna make it up for you .. you will see my journey starts !

D2 begun

2008-09-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

everything flashes back just the night yesterday , very bitter , as if it was like watching a drama scene. skiped school early this morning , too tired , so many things to think last night , the cause and effects , mostly all are negative signs , try to explain ?? i dun think so , its hard since there's nothing between in this thread of frienship.

the existance is really making me sick day by day . i can't really control , but somehow have to . to get hold of myself , i excercise everyday , rather than emo. i just wan to get my mind on the target that i've set. kind a like a diverge from the past. well sam gets reality , its gets better when u think something positive. enough ENOUGH of pain stalking things , GOTTA STOP IT.

lastly but not last , i will blame myself , all along . for not being the person that everybody is thinking , go on think wat u wan . as long as i am happy with it , but it sounds so rediculous , i just want to find a way that i can express myself towards something that can't spread out secrets , i hope that the person or the thing will appear in mylife and can make myself feel better day by day , hopefully this hole of mine or scar will heal but i know medicine cant heal that fast , coz it hurts alot perhaps a scar in my life

mooncake festival ? lonely ?

2008-09-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

today suppose to be a nice night for romantic couples , and lovely family love feeling. but what do i have ?? nothing , i have none not even a family love , lonely ?? yeah i felt that once , infact , i feel it when i am writing this post.

problems lately , just so many of them , brainstorm till i can die , too much too many , too many drama lots of stuff. maybe i mature already , too many things have to handle . seriously i hope if i can explode like those days , but seem can't. i cry in the middle of the night , calling out for help . there's no one , no reply , none . emoness in the dark , always find myself eyes swollen by the next day , not enough sleep , disturbia , last time use to be very relaxing.

now i dun find myself like me anymore , not anymore. friends ?? trust ?? guess wat ? i dun wan to be a good guy from today onwards , maybe evil or devil ermm seems which one is better ?? darknesss all over me , found the long lost me , haha my imaginary self just like the one in that anime which the guy found back him ownself can became stronger. well i hope i can be someone like dat , perhaps even more evil and more hate in my mind . i dun see love anymore , not even a bright sky , judgement is made by rumours and fucking fake trust is made by lifeless faggat and guess wat ?? people believe it and they feel happy for it

well wat for being played like this ? i dun wan to be in this way anymore , being a whole time loser ? or seeing who is gonna be the best loser ? day by day the feeling will come back to me , sooner or later i will meet him , he will teach me anything that i wan to learn ........

i cant draw anymore , the touch of that talent is slowly getting away from me , i cant draw .. sooner or later i will not use my name as SAM LAU KING SUM , or im not gonna care wat people call me by names , i just dun wan to admit and i am always alone. there's no light or laughter just that the things that i do will not success , why ?? i keep asking and asking , but yet i still cannot find the answer

a dull day for me ~

2008-09-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

well out of a sudden feeling like blog , but there was nothing about in my mind , just tired, woke up early this morning to refresh my mind for my moral exams.

After school , did'nt went lunch with boon khit and friends . some unwanted people are there , anyway i walk my friend home as usual and had a nice nap on the floor

i look terrible , just imagine to wake up 4am and end up like this in the afternoon

haha taking nap also can camwhore arr ?? lols lots of people said that to me , but think at the bright side i take this picture with my eyes close and get that angle right ?? haha im pro , but nothing to be proud of , just a normal kid that have nothing to do in the afternoon ..

i wanted to blog like my friend's style well pictures are more than a thousand words .. anyway im not that creative in words but i will always be improoving myself.
Anyway the weather is crazy recently , i hope all my friends out there just to take care of themselves , drink more water and keep ur health in good state ^^

september 10 , a change for now and then

2008-09-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

seriously rumours and conflict have to be stopped , i've enough already. i've lost a friend for my mistakes , and now u're happy coz i dun think that its worth to loose a friend becoz of a girl , that just sounds sucks man .

and life goes on , if u think that blaming me and flame my name is a nice thing to do , then do it , coz i dun really have much friends out there . GO on , since u think that both of our misery have to be share with so many of ur friends out there . i dun mind coz i dun really care . well i hope u can think back of ur feelings which takes actions but not ur brain , i just felt sad for that .

for friends , trust is a golden key to every relationship , no trust no friend , no trust no love no trust no girlfriend. its easy , even my dad no trust which means no dad , but wat to do since his sperm produced me , wat can i do ? i just have to call him as ''dad'' just for his name same thing as for a buddy ranking , he is the one who drop my rank from ponteng buddy to friend and now no more , long gone ~

but wat can i do with ur jelousness , its just keeps goes on , no matter i give u so many advice that can help u in ur thing . now since u cut it , and its over for the friendship that last for that 3 years . well good bye , since u think that everything is much better for u

lastly , rumours making are just for lifeless people who dun really have a life so just get that sense of urs to trust anyone , why trust rumours ?? the TRUTH is the thing that u need to know , open ur eyes

september 4

2008-09-04T08:08:00.001-07:00

well nothing much about today , but i feel that having dinner in ming tien with my pal boon khit . we felt kind a bored already , seriously , dunno wat to eat . the things we eat kind a lifeless and all the worker also know wat we gona call .

haih stupid boon khit freaking maths freak !! gonaa score 100% GO DIE LA ! but potong steam !~ haah he is careless and he is damn careless and great news !! A1 but no 100% for U ~

oi bk la ~ damn noisy la u ~ dun repeat the same thing u say la ! du lan edii la haha haha joking edii man !! dun wake up with tai chi la ! i feel de wind k !

just feel damn lifeless but have to study , haha i got pictures man bk and you dun have !! dun du lan me hahahahaaa

my day ~

2008-09-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

haha my room damn clean edii now !! ahah thanks to boon khit

haih ~ my pal , he's gone ~ face the fact

2008-08-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

i really had nice time with my friend , can consider as my brother . know him since young . we did all the stupid things together and stuff , memorable and crazy . he came here this year for one month due to summer holiday there . he told me about leaving early when he was here got the first week but he told me that he was sad at the end , infact he is still miss his family right now , i can tell he loves his brothers and his sister very much .

although he did'nt spend much time with his friendz this year , he felt quite bad about it too , but since everyone is still so busy around with their last exam for this year. he also felt that he should'nt disturb them , where as i thought that the reason he came back was to have the family feeling again . Good thing i stay near his house , i can visit him even the last minute , the last day of him in malaysia , the las moment for being in the curve.

lonelyness in taman megah is getting stronger and stronger everyday . its just that i feel that hanging out and go yam cha with u i damn great thing and cycling to . but too bad this year we did'nt do much coz of ur schedule , but we did something great , melaka on schooling days ^^ chicken rice balls.

after all of those excitement , i felt that life have to go on and i have to face the reality , i cant juz go around cycle with no reason , and i know that success is a lonely road. some people who are willing to fail just not to be lonely , i felt that is something of a dreamland . As a human , i would like to face the fact , face the problems , face the problems and solve it . Every problems gives real lessons in life and experience .

floating slipper in KL

2008-08-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

a phone call ~~~

after i picked up , ( oii boon khit !! petaling street man ~ )

we started rushing downstairs and quickly bought our tickets and get into our ride. From the LRT , the window showed that it was just drizzling, small little tiny rain drops only..haha we walk and walk and walk, searching for the jacket shop that jermaine wanted to look for. haha half way walking, a guy come over : hey, leng zai, wanna buy dvd or not?? we shake our heads. then that guy totally changed his tone of voice and say : ham dai mou?? ham dai ham dai....i was like wtf ! then he keep following us as if all the teenagers are polluted...haha after a short while he stopped following us, so glad that he stopped, ahhaha

on the way to the nearest LRT station , there are floods on the road . i tell u its a craap for me to run like a chicken with slippers ... somehow my slipper juz get stuck in the rushing drains and it got floated again . and lots of pedestrain are laughing at me , but who cares i dun care at all , and it found it very fun when attention was on me , nahh dun care thou ...

lucky thing that the slipper was being blocked by the huge tire of the bus . thank goodness~
i wore back my slipper again , and bk and jermaine were like laughing like mad coz i am holding a pouch and an umbrella ~ phowww crazy afternoon

and one thing about my pal , boon khit !! walao i like ur hair man like bush !! *haha i am so dead man >.<>

he looks retard but he is also known as the CALCULATOR !

ITS GETTING LATE , IM GONNA SLEEP IF NOT SOMEONE WILL KILL ME BADLY FOR BEING LATE TOMORROW AND ONCE AGAIN TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY

TO BE CONTINUE~

a rainny day , get prepared ~

2008-08-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

well recently i realised that its rainny season , the best way is to prevent from getting wet to school so today i prepare myself yet still last minute , well my mind kind a slow when i wan to do something good for myself . i can say that maybe this is a way to love myself , coz normally i dun care at all and just be wet and have fun ^^ my mum's reaction was ... =.= and wow !! son u bought ur self something beneficial !!

and this is wat i do before i put in my bag !!

ngek ngek camwhore abit !!

its me in raincoat

this will prevent me frm gettting wet

this will prevent my pants from getting wet too

well i spend quite a lot but i think its beneficial than playing in cc !! haha

realising the day had come

2008-08-24T08:48:00.001-07:00

well today is the last day of my holiday . anyway i feel that although my parents left me alone in the house for 3 days ?? i dun think that is a great idea , i juz too playfull and now i am regreting for not using my precious time for myself . Recently , im spending all my time with my friends , knowing how are they doing , and sometimes be a busy body for a while . At the end it all worth , cuz the end of the day , they appreciate it .

as for studies , i think that i manage to handle , but juz feel guilty that i've spend unecessary . somehow wasted my youth . i juz dun wan to waste any of them anymore . and i will work extra harder and harder to acomplish my goal .

i always tell myself that i wan to become somebody successfull and beat all my friends .
there will be one day ! i make sure i will do it !!

suppose to study BUT gundam and dot hack sign // G.U

2008-08-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

currently my favourite characters , but
they are rivals

Finally, the most recent series and my fav to date. 00's not complete, but the storyline so far's pretty interesting. I like how they bring some totally unrelated characters closer and closer to the main story. Also, this series touches rather heavily on the current world situation more than others, even using the same AD calendar. Having 4 gundams, and 3 don't know wat, makes the story line easier to follow. it's very easy, there's been wars and celestial being doesn't like tht, so they got gundams in to save the day, and the world doesn't like tht. so it's a conflict b/w 4 gundams and the rest of the world. then to make it more interesting, they introduced rogue candidates and other factors to create a mystery in the story line, wat is the true intention of celestial being?
So from the gundam series, i realised that action only plays a small part in the overall reviews. story development and other elements the authors put in play more crucial roles.

i spend time watching this , the graphics really blow me off ~
i did think something that can come out from that

he looks real evil !! yeah
i love this , could'nt find any pose like him , so i've edited from the original wallpaper

haseo's last form !! so leng chai !!!

im back once again !!! thank you thank you ~

2008-08-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

walao speaking about back , i juz broke down the door in my house and guess wat ??

IM BACK ~

today is very pissed up day . suppose to have tuition , but there is one fucking smart feller who thinks that he is f*cking smart , being a f*ck head which f*cking around with the whole class . made everyone did'nt come for tuition . U THINK U PAY ARR ?? siao lang , my ''calculator'' is not for scolding u biachhhh !! and once again thanks for being a wasted sperm* a f*ck head like u is unwanted in this world and this universe !!

if i toot u in the face , not so nice ~ well i will think another way of toot u back kao kao , ermm making 2 persons waiting for the the whole class to be absent , ermm great idea .. i will plan something that will make ur life miserable .. u f*ck head ohh yeah , from today i will call u f*ck head or lan tao ?? ermm i prefer f*ck head under the wasted sperm society ma ~

anyway if he wants to mess around , talk to me den . who he think he is ?? he is juz an ordinary loser of all . anyway there will always be a next episode of this interesting climax of mine 0-0

dun fuck around with me ^^

morning GO KL !! WOOHOO

2008-08-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

August 16

Hey guys , i was real tired after last nights , karaoKaY !! .. so i slept quite early and woke up early too . 7.15am im still in bed thinking , 8.30 still in bed * thinking of someone , 9.am i on my com looking for new games and news ... ohh yeah i did promise my friend to buy something really special . so i decided to go to KL pavilion to get something for her .

i left the house immediately , and head over to the nearest LRT station. Along the way , i saw a european feller , reading by the book of '' HOW TO UNDERSTAND MALAY '' ennnnn . i dun understand about it either , frm wat i've heard a malay lady came to approach him , he said because he had married a malay wife , and he wants to know more about it and i was wondering why are there so many chicks out there and he want to get a malay lady as wife . ermm i juz dun understand , i felt marrying a malay have a lot of customs and stuff very problematic ?? As far i can concern that , the guy is very knowledgable , i like his habits , reading in a public transportation ^^ .

After 20 minutes i've reached KL , and straight i head to Pavilion , where my friends said that the things there are EXPENSIVE . LOL which i dun think so , it depends wat type of things u wanna buy , i felt the place is nice and the shops have that classey feeling . i juz like it , compare to sungei wang haha aka lala land . but in sg wang , the shirts are cheap i juz like it , cheap and funny hahahahaaa

*a pouch frm FOS and something from EXTREME*

*a pouch for myself when im cycling*

INSIDE THE BLACK BAGGGGGGGGG

~ A BLACK HOODIEEEEEEEE~

COOL ~ LOGOS [FRONT]

FUNKY LOGO [BACK] JUZ LOVE IT ~

owhh miss it

2008-08-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

oops , i forgotten to blog yesterday , anyway i was too tired . My friends and i went to the karaokEeE yesterday . Acutally i was suppose to go to my friend's gathering for primary school students' reunion but i did'nt manage , and felt sorry to the organiser . But singing with my friends were real fun , lols we sang like crazy people . feeeeling high at the time . I know trials are coming in weeks time , i guess . Erm im real lost , and suppose to study like hell , but end up didn't do anything . Anyway we plan this real long time ago , but so many people did'nt turn up , ending up 4 person there . Before karaokEeE , ping and piggie and i went to BOWL ! woohoo i scored 73 man ! and one strike !! haha Ping played pro at first , haha i beat her score ! and piggie play real slow *she's a beginner !! lols anyway funny throw .

After that , i met up with jermaine , anyway sorry girls i have to leave cuz i have to follow his transport =( so on the way , i met ND and king yang . after that we head to curve . whereas ND heading back . we get ice cream at MC D at curve and had window shopping . After that we went home .

darn tired ***************************************

melacca ~

2008-08-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

today skipped school , juz to go melacca with jermaine and his cousins . We started blurly at the start , cuz seriously this is the first time that we are going there by ourselves =) but at the end we made it there safely and in time .

it took us few hours to reach there . On the journey we saw the bay where melacca history starts . BIg ships too . We visited the red building or whatever those people named it , along the way , we bought a cute rubber band gun haha ! rm5 only ! but it worth all the fun on the way . We saw many things , melacca has many fun stuff to play with . OUr fun is to pee everywhere , but our best part of the journey is to make joke or the wishing well .. YOUUU da soulja boyzzz .

We had lunch with jermaine's online pal , crissy ^^ she took us to eat some great food =) chicken rice which the rice has a shape as fish ball . wow delicious ! yummy i hope i can have that for lunch everyday ^^ . and then we went to see the first river in melacca , and i saw a lizard as big as a croc ! well im not joking ! i felt that i am a kampung boy *village boy * ermm did'nt see something that big in mylife

As our journey continues , we head to the mall and took a walk right after our lunch . and bowling ~ its jermaine cousin treat us . KEVIN haha xP and later on we were suppsoe to head back , but we had no idea which bus we are suppose to take . we kept looking and asking for information . Finally , we saw the exact same driver that send us from melacca central to the historical spot . the ride was 30 min and we took another bus ride home .

we slept on the way ~~~~ keanne was too bored *kevin's yougest bro *

when i came back i showed them my com ! woo it has crysis in it ! but i have no idea why juz cant support warcraft >< and i made jermaine and his cousins wait .. im sorry that i did'nt called him to come to may jin's house coz i thought that he went out for some praying session .. .. so i chat away with may jin and manda , till forget the time lols we went pasar malam *night market* together haha may jin bought FOOD !! haha and now i am back and ready for bed

yesterday's night made me today

2008-08-13T04:13:00.000-07:00

walao man !! yesterday night , bad mood , find trouble with ugly face , lols an ugly face that dunno the mistake . well take a mirror to see the reflection . damn ugly man , not only the look but the heart too .. wat to do ?? i find trouble , fun though but i think back , it is more FUN !! -.-'' lols u know the ugly ?? it is a SHE , so i can call her bitch ! finally a bitch .

muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaaa

lols dunno why i am so happy this morning , i woke up late , but i manage to FLY to school lesser sweat , maybe i did'nt push myself to much . anyway financial is a problem to me now , real tight man , but i got plan for my outing too . but i still feel very fan . juz way too much to think . my friend is right , frm my palm , it juz shows that i am a person who thinks alot . WHEN ONLY CAN DUN SO FAN LE ?? i miss those days where i am lazy and dun think about anything ..

JERMAINE'S farewell
lols not actually a farewell yet but , it was fun . i was crazy at the moment . lols darn u rebecca !! laugh like a time bomb !! and guess wat ?? me TOO !! so we were having lunch ! and wah lao , the next moment , i am broke darn broke ! but we have nice memories and who cares ?? once in a life time ~

AFTER LUNCH
jermaine friends and i went to find the guy that betray his mum's shop *last time * so at the mean time , we saw him working there , i guess he saw jermaine . we ordered drinks . loled 9 ice lemon tea ?? rm 90++ ?? saw that guy's face ! so darn guilty , dun even dare to serve us , freaking PIE ! i dunno why i scold him pie but he is a PIE ! KEEP ASKING FOR BREAK , U FREAKING GUILTY !! u will lost u job man and ur name is listed in my deathnote !! u will know it , u will taste it !! u old freak ! and there we , were searching for him the whole atria , he was like a rat , running here and there . escaping and escaping but we will find him one day ~

After chasing the LOSER
we went home . on the way i felt darn emo , juz dunno wat is the cause of it , maybe my mind was missing someone , due to problems here and problems there , no matter wat i will get that thing that u desire !! u better wait for my good news !!!

shit up day ??

2008-08-12T05:20:00.001-07:00

Right after school , rush back home , and dad and mum quarrel . Then i heard DIVORCE . shocked at first , then only realise that father did'nt sleep with mum yesterday. mum kind a mad i guess . well wat to do ?? i felt so out of a sudden . suddenly come back and a nuclear exploded >.< felt bad after that .. and so on .. so on .. i emo on a LRT train .. people looking at me , almost lost my control , tears .........

2 personality in one small body

2008-08-11T05:49:00.000-07:00

damn crazy man , anger raging up to me HEAD . After emo in drea's house , i cycle back to my house and have dinner , with anger i came into my house . OWHH SHIT MAN , i see everyone was in the wrong position which is in my mind , everything they do , i will have that feeling of wacking each of them up . i dunno why , am i feeling dat , maybe my body's heat after cycling . like steaming , smoke out of my ears >.< ...

when i am munching my food , i made everyone a complain ! i shoot everyone in the face directly ! without mercy !! well probably i will do that infront of my classmates ! kill them straight ! NO MERCY ''o.o '' ,,I,, toot u man !~~ haih but i after that kind of nuclear explosion ! , i will feel more calm and more relax , its like hulk ! the green and big shit.

That is the reason why i get all that anger which makes me not going to school , i was sleeping half way in the damn night , and my stupid dad come in like a wasted sperm and check my things out , i cant resist the noise i wake up and t**t him straight !! and tell him to get off of my room . well it is juz something crazy , i can sleep in the middle of the night and wake up and fuck someone in the face . WHY CANT HE JUZ GIVE ME PEACE WHEN I AM SLEEPING , EVERYTIME I GO TO SCHOOL I WILL SLEEP FOR AT LEAST 20 MIN JUZ TO COOL DOWN MYSELF AND GET SOME REAL SLEEP

seriously he is juz wasting his time to check me out ! he is darn a crap ! lifeless , and now i am sitting down here and explode in tonight's entry , exploding as loud as a king kong in the jungle ~ later on i will be going to chow yang's kayu there yam cha to relax myself with teh ice or limau ice

a day of my own , once in a thousand years , no money =(

2008-08-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well today is more of a time for my hobby. As usual i will get mad when i see gundam model !! and guess wat ?? LOL my long lost friend , boon kang [da gurl] finally appeared and called me .. haih , he wants me to take him to buy da gundam models which are cheap =.=''lols and he bought one , grr !! he made me jelous , REAL JELOUS MAN , just man about it when u dun have any money to spend man =(

After lunch , we came back quickly just to fix up the gundam dat he purchase . It was rushing , but we still manage to finish up before 6 . Xp haha i know it is a hungry ghost month , i muz not go out late at night , but wat to do ?? im hungry , my friend called after that we went out to ss2 and have dinner . feels great when ur stomach is filled with yummy food

group study~

2008-08-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Ping's sms woke me up once more , its a saturday morning , sun is bright but still feeling cold .
well i straight cycle and head to yuen's house for the group study all the way from taman megah to centrepoint . we had study about history of malaysia , about the World War 1 ! ,it was very blur during the start , yet i finally understand after ping gave a second explanation , thanks to yuen , i dun understand wat are u talking about !.. so at the meantime waiting for our special guest , moy lien .. hmm she did'nt call before she came .

So the weather is darn hot , so the girls and i decided to have a drink in 7-11 in centrepoint of BU. well so i plan to take my bike there .. and guess wat ! all the girls want to cycle haha , its funny to see them cycle . For them its like , they never cycle before haha .. noobies haha poh yee made me all the trouble to make the sit lower , haha take my time to make it low man , where as ping cycle like a nervous girl , lols and yuen with her fat ass *haha she is gonna kill me again * haha when she is cycling , ping manage to slap her ass once more *PIAK * hahaand moy lien with the stereng problem juz can't cycle straight hahaha ..

After the drink we walked back from 7-11 with my bike XD and go on study for the past 4 hours , bored though , manage to study untill the cause of ww1 but still stay at there for the past few hours again , chat and stuffs . yuen's mum came in and join us chat too , its crazy , a study group changed into a chatting gang haha .. that time was around 7-8 pm , the sky is getting dark, all of us went back home safely =)

hyper day

2008-08-08T08:31:00.000-07:00

MORNING
so today is a cold morning , last night raining MA ! had the best pjk !! haha play with the girls hahahahaahahaaaa , cuz lots of body contact MA! ok la i dun wan to be pervert* we played with our pjk teacher , PN Tan hmm ^^ a very fun and wild teacher !! heeheee the one who decided to play half court basketball WITHOUT RULEZ !! omg it is a disaster !! lots of *body contact * once again , ping pull my shirt to the maximum !! cant move freely , and yet i get scolded by mayjin >.<>.< haih she mark me so geng chao , how i deng back worr , i scared terkena ma haih people got bumper de la , dun so bad ma , i got a good heart de *heehee* XD haih almost every shot miss for me , but at the end our team won and yuen got herself a free molest *wakakakakakaaa* by our friend moy lien !! woohoo lucky not me man , if not i will kacao her forever man XD

Afternoon
we had lunch at Atria's penang cravings , with cheauwei and her emo sister , yuen , ping , pei , kay, sukie and brother boon khit . walao weii i refill the jasmine tea like no body buisness haha untill the waitress du lan me , keep staring at my cup only haha , and way true i eat like 3 person's appettie haha no joke , wan me to demonstrate , belanja saya ma i will sure eat it puas puas. So haha thanks to cheauwei , she gave me half of her nasi lemak to me haha btw the beef is alright only , and also to yuen , coz she gave me her kuay teow !! woohoo .. plus my fried RICE !! wahh very full man

******************at the end all of our meal WORTH rm109.++ ***************************

a wonderday have been ended cuz after lunch cheauwei , yuen , kay and me went to tuition at pn NG's place for maths , and saw brother jermaine on the way ~

another fine day ~

2008-08-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

hey, its another fine day , as usual i rush to school recklessly with my bike XD and cars all hated me when i am crossing the junction .. so i manage to reach school before it gets any late , there are friends that thought i will not come again , due to yesterday's stomach pain , so school was great manage to see friends again and getting better and better , so ping and other friends suggest to have lunch together in pizza hut , lols we all enjoyed .. in the last minute , jen liz and ah pei joined us . We chat all day long till we went to atria on the top floor . feels great although i've been missing in class for juz one day , to me it is like missing a thousand of lightyears in my time.
i've realised that i've been mixing with the right group of friends and i felt comfortable with them , without them ?? i dunno wat i will be today maybe joining some lifeless people doing something worthless ... those days of mine are way over , with this group of girls , they are people who were beautiful in my life , always .. .. so wad ? i dun care anyone else thinks that a guy can't join a bunch of girls ?? well it is either they are jelous ?? or they juz cant hmm.. ^^ u juz have to find the right bunch of friends which can chat all day long , can be very fun and nonsense at times haha ,, it makes me thought of cheow yuen .
well disturbing her is something that i like the most , her reaction and her pose lol , juz remarkable very cartoon and animated !! juz like those in mangas !! haha juz like it haha wonderfull girl lols she's the pure and innocent thinking among all of us haha juz a lil giant that's all haha juz lots of laughter with her and her pal aka ping ping =)

They always play like sisters in the class haha , same date of birth juz a lil later by one week , lols same lifestyle and stuff , i hope i will meet a girl that have the same characteristics like that seems fun , which i believe that can last longer in the relationship .. .. really did'nt experience that cuz im an art person , hopefully every feeling i have can boost and get myself inspire to things surround me ^^

well for dinner , i had a mountain full with RICE yeah , u did'nt see it wrong its rice !! haha a person with 3 person's appetite ?? crazy ?? im not !! haha im still a teenager with a kid's body >.< overprotective ="(">

they all make sense all along ~

2008-08-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

Today , 06/08/08 , my feeling was mixed all day long . Firstly i did'nt went to school cause of my stomach !! suddenly pain in the morning due to the yesterday's maggie goreng in the mamak near mayang MOSIN i hate u !! i said maggie goreng , and u gimme so spicy for wad ?? see me suffer ?? haih yesterday is yesterday , dun talk about it , so i woke up juz to make my ''tiramisu'' , then went back to sleep , body could'nt move too tired and pain ....... the next thing i know is already 10.30 am ! then i call my buddy j'maine. SUNGAI WANG !!! REACH MY HOUSE BEFORE 11AM!!!!!! '' ok ok boss .... '' said ME ^^ , almost broke man , one week spend too much in fact over spend =( wanted to save up to buy something for friend de , but still cannot support myself how to buy for friend , juz feel so useless man >.<

SO, i rushed to jer's house in the right time , lols as usual jer always in a black T's and levis jeans , casual and his mum with the most kind smile ever , and his lil angelic and devilic brothers ngek ngek , fortunately the kids were late to class by 10 min >.< bad thing to do at their age .. after sending them , we went to aunty's office in some building somewhere KL , not mentioning it cuz i dun know where is it =( i was half asleep in her car , but it is a nice place , very relaxing . it is call Life Code , with comfortable feeling ^^ but waited for jer's mum and him for sometime ,, it guess it is something important to talk about , anyway i dun care much heehee

after one hour , we manage to reach our destination , unfortunately on the way to Pavillion , there is a sucked up motorcyclist damaged The Honda Accord !! damn it , nice car u know !! but the ''wasted sperm'' ran away with his tiny winnie motor , haih made aunty feel so upsad .. seriously if i were in her shoes , i will kill that feller !! and insult till my mouth drop ! , anyway people nowadays are fished up , and useless ...... after the terrible traffic jam , we split with jer's mum and head for window shopping .. lols Pavillion's EXTREME is totally EXTREME !! , lols there were on sales for one month ! woohoo the hoodies !! walao weii yeng but some very lala , so if u guys wanted to buy them , i suggest dun buy the ALI brand , darn lala man and the design , haih macam samseng and sakai >.<'' and lots of variety man compare with OU and curve ^^ its cool to shop in Pavillion if u had the $$ but who dunno about it man , $$ is everybody dream about .. .. .. .. jer and i took the monorail to lala land to see around and at the end we got ourselves shirt from there i've got one cool one where the wording is darn blur if u see it from far , where as jer got soemthing that i dun wan to talk about heehee *check it yourself * haha actually i wanted to find this blur wording kind of shirt for a very long time ever since january of this year , and guess wat *WAT* the last shirt is purchased by ME , then we head to accomplish jer's mission , which is to design the cap where jen hong took us before , so ITS A DISAPOINTMENT damn suck man , although the design is not complicated , but they did it like a kids work , lousy sial ! i thought of making it my own and save him darn money , so he can cheng me marr haha *joking nia brother * haha once again , my gundam crazyness had attacked me again , lols friends told me that sungei wang , is a dream land for lala people and GUNDAM FREAKS !! ^^V lols =D

seriously................ its like heaven to me , and walao weii all the gundam is darn cheap and can be easily be found haha , my favourite , gundams from gundam 00 series , came out edii man !! wahoo but the price haih , rm200+ still cheap man , compare to those in OU , darn expensive man , they thought my dad print money* siao ar ?? haih besides gundam shopping , we did shirts too , like those with f*ck off stickers , those unique ones , those !! we love it haha its a great day for two best friends hang out together , ^^ since he will be here for 2 weeks , flying back soon , knew him since std4 , crazy moments in yuk chai and smk dj =P after 5.45 , around there coz i dun have a watch lols , we decided to take a look of a watch by the name of ODM , its werid to me at first but i think it is cool long de way , could u belive it ! a shopping mall selling something fake ?? lol u can find it in Timesquare !! haha crazy world like i said , sold at rm40 where as the original haha u dun wan to know it ^^
we make a trip to petaling street haha , crowded we missed the leng lui session haih , suppose to be 3.30 where all the lui come out from school , lols saw lots of watches there and lots of people lelong , haih bored edii man their way of talking , same pattern man juz need to act a bit then u can purchase then lower than rm30 haih CHEAP but wat to do ?? we are malaysians , if u intend to wear something looks branded , ur friends will think that u look with it =P quote by jer lols after that we made back home LATE for mr.cinderella haha *he is so mad when he sees this * btw joking man haha

just like normal teenagers , they eat late dinner and they take bath and later on call their friend , haih get really ''low'' when i heard something about cannot happen , well i know something is going on , but nvm i'll know wat to do , lols in fact i did'nt feel sad at all , cuz those days are over haha yet friends is a golden thing to me , so treasure it man !! ^^ dun spoil everything , ermm .. so that is all for today .. as usual teenagers have to have their rest hmm .. goodnight , i really have a great day , suppose erm .. i really hope that i will have a better tomorrow =)

at last

2008-08-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

AT LAST i've created a blog , darn my google email , darn lousy , streamyx is doing some bad service >.< them =")"> know youngsters like me , ''owhh there is a chick , then go get her number !! '' these situations always happen among guys , girls too kk ... but from wat i've learn from my own experience , this is not wat i call love but juz a kiddy game , as for someone u dun plan to ''kao'' that is something real and more reality , the feeling is slightly stronger and different =) well currently i am experiencing that .. although something happen which hurts me indirectly but it's ok , she does'nt know it so its ok .. i can put that away
well some say love isn't everything , this is a quote frm one of my sesat friend , believe it or not he use to be the ponteng king lols , so i was suprised man , suddenly he messeged me and told me that ''ur'e right , i dun wan to regret anything in my life , i wan to change myself into a better man '' whoah!! my reaction was like , how many hundred times i've told him and now the efffect take place , thank GOD , he finally realise , its great to see a close friend or u call that BLADDER ^^ its good to see him change , infact i wan to see those friends that i've known out there TO CHANGE seriously sometimes i felt some people around me in mylife are juz way useless , till i have to insult them or hate them , so called wasted sperm !! juz cant stand it man !! way dumb i hope those bastards out there , if they wan to continue like this , its their life , i juz dunno u man way dunno ! dun even call my name